MY EXPERIENCE WITH A DISSATISFIED PARENT

I want to believe most teachers share the same phobia with me - DISSATISFIED PARENTS. Even the best teachers must have come across a dissatisfied parent on the job, more experienced teachers may have even found ways to minimize this, but every once in a while, they are all out in your face. Do you know that having a dissatisfied parent is neither because you are a bad teacher nor he/she is a bad parent?

To be sure we are in agreement, I would like to say that I see a dissatisfied parent as one who thinks that you are not doing enough or not trusted enough to cater  for the educational needs and a lot more (as promised by the school)  for his/her child. This could range from the child’s consistent missing pencil to a not so good feeling towards a teacher. Before I share a recent experience, you should know that I believe strongly that parents know or have an idea of what they want for their child (ren); this guides how I relate with them.

Just a few weeks back, I was summoned by my supervisor, while I was still trying to finish up what I had to do, she showed up at the front door of my class. Very professionally, she informed me on how displeased a certain parent, Mrs. Lovelyface (that’s what I call her in my mind), was about her son’s handwriting. Prior to that day, I had discussed with Mrs. Lovelyface, she seemed very concerned about her son’s handwriting, I tried to make her aware of her son’s academic standing (more of a concern to me than his handwriting), but soon figured out that her first goal for him was the handwriting. The little chap and I had worked really hard on the writing even though he was not consistent yet. I kept on asking about his mum as I couldn’t wait for her to see his improvement, but she had been in ‘the abroad’ for quite a while.

Now, as I was being informed of the situation, I couldn’t help turning away to look at furious Mrs. Lovelyface, pacing angrily at us; she looked ready for war. Honestly, I wondered to myself why this fine lady was stressing her face so badly, the lovely face had disappeared. In less than a second later, I was terribly pissed because it didn’t even make sense as she had been unavailable and then suddenly returns to report me to the school without confirming her son’s progress from me. Without batting an eyelid, I said to her, ‘madam, but you have been in America since, your son has made so much progress.' The only evidence was his notes and my supervisor really wanted to get to the root of the matter, alas his notes arrived and there was a clear progression, my lovely lady lacked words and calmed down a bit. My supervisor began to commend me on the boy’s improvement and looked through the notes together with the lovely lady then left both of us to talk and sort out ourselves. The whole experience spoilt my day, I didn’t like it at all.

I needed to talk to someone, I didn’t think it was right of her to have reported me to the authorities without finding out from me, especially, because she also hadn’t been around (she insisted I should have called her since she always roams), but deep down, I knew the woman wanted more from me. My head was not ready to think, so I spoke to a trusted colleague, who I knew would be sincere with me, he was. 'All this woman wants for her child right now is for his handwriting to become really good, give it to her,’ he said to me.  I tried to explain that his handwriting was a lot better and that the mother wanted a complete transformation which may not be very possible judging from a lot of factors.  After everything, I assured myself that I would push myself to make Mrs. Lovelyface a satisfied customer.

I made a few decisions and a took a few steps.

1.   I told myself that I couldn’t keep being angry (the customer is always right). In my case, the customer desperately wants something and if I am to say I am good enough, I have to meet and exceed her expectations.
2. My reaction must never change negatively towards the child even though I did not like what his mum did(which actually is not wrong, teachers just don’t like to be reported )
3. I thought of a colleague who mentored me in my early years in teaching, Sarah Jatto, she is absolutely amazing in working with children. ‘’She is the best person to help me in the total transformation of his handwriting,’’ I assured myself.
4.  I met Sarah Jatto who poured her wealth of wisdom to me, priceless (we must learn to identify colleagues who have strengths that we lack, super stars don’t necessarily know everything).
5.  I gave him a student mentor and coach (Mrs. Lovelyface had earlier shown her admiration towards the child’s writing), his goal was to write like him.
6.  I was patient with him even though there was a backlog of notes, it cost him a lot of pain and time to write legibly let alone nicely.
7.   I followed through with him consistently and gave him rewards, more targets and more rewards.

Finally, one morning, by 10:18am, I receive a message on my phone. Guess who it was? If you said Mrs. Lovelyface, you are right. I personally learnt a lot from this experience,uu even though I have written about aligning your goals for a child with the parent’s, this was a reality check. To my amazement, the child’s academics which I was more concerned about has also become better. Yes, that handwriting is still a work in progress, nevertheless, we aim for the sky.